Ever since I had my baby, I had been always with him almost 24 hours and 7 days a week. I'm his primary care giver so fair enough that I have to be with him most of the time but I feel like I need a break. I don't really feel I had a proper break since I gave birth.
I feel that my in laws would look at it like I'm a bad mum because I want to get away from my baby, but I feel no one can understand this feeling unless they are in my shoes. I do enjoy his company and I love him to bits, but somehow I'm longing for a break where I can do what I want without having to stress and worry about his needs.
It has been a while since I can really do what I want.
Usually my in laws or my parents would help out to take care of my baby for several hours but I would need to be by their side because they don't really know how to manage his needs. This mean like when to warm up the milk, how to properly assemble the bottle etc. So even though I'm not directly taking care of my baby, I would still need to 'be there'.
There had been several times when I had the opportunity to go out for a moment but because I was breast feeding, my breast would be full every 3 hours so I was not able to be away for more than that period. So whenever I'm out, I'm always in a rush to complete what I want to do.
But now when I'm breastfeeding my baby less and I have the chance to be out longer, whenever I go out I am still not able to totally relaxed. I feel bad leaving my baby to someone else to take care of him. If my husband were to take care of him, I would feel bad that my husband is not having his break after a whole week of busy working. If my parents or parents in law takes care of my baby, I would feel like I owe them a favour.
I don't know I just feel that way.
For mothers out there, how do you cope with leaving your children for your own leisure time?
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